By Don Donatello
It’s the same old, same old. The crowd who wishes they had a fighter of Manny Pacquiao’s status and caliber, the PacEnvious, will be making the same old excuse if Pacquiao goes ahead and grants Juan Manuel Marquez a third fight. Manny Pacquiao will obliterate Marquez and the same things are going to be parroted all over the Internet again by the PacEnvious. By now, I’m sure everyone has heard of them:
1. Pacquiao fought an opponent on the downside
2. Pacquiao fought a weakened opponent
3. Pacquiao fought an undeserving opponent
4. Pacquiao should have fought this opponent instead
5. Pacquiao fought an old opponent
6. Pacquiao is cherry picking
7. Pacquiao is afraid of this guy
8. Pacquiao is afraid of that guy
9. Pacquiao is overrated
10. Pacquiao is a fraud
11. Pacquiao is on steroids
12. Pacquiao will get KO’d
On and on, and on, and on it goes!
But what you don’t hear from the PacEnvious is, “Everyone wants to fight Pacquiao and “Everyone wishes their country has a fighter like Manny Pacquiao.”
From the “want list” of the boxers and their fans, Pacquiao should be at 10 places at once. He should be fighting this opponent and that opponent at the same time. Then he should sign to fight this guy and that guy the following week. They expect Pacquiao to please everyone at every time. And if he doesn’t appease them, the tirade goes on, and on, and continues. Redirect to the list above.
I have one solution that can please the PacEnvious crowd. Let us just clone the Greatest Fighter on the planet. Each clone can be sold to any country for the right price. Every country would love to have a conscientious, friendly, fun loving, charity giving, gracious, humble, congressman that can KICK ASS who is the baddest fighter on the planet.
I ask you this, who would not want a Pacquiao clone to represent their country? Of course, like any other business, it aims to please the customers. For an additional price, they can alter his features here and there to make it look more Mexican, Swedish, Hungarian, Japanese, Chinese, Pakistani, American, French, Mongolian, German, Italian, etc.
The clone would be advertised like any high priced product. The target customer would be the government and extremely rich individuals. Of course there will also differing models adjusted for differing needs and affordability.
The TV commercial advertising would go like this:
Are you sick and tired being left behind? Don’t you wish you could compete at the very highest level? Well, now you can! Introducing the new Pacquiao ZX-100R Series. The Ultimate Warrior in combat sport.
And like any Pacquiao model, the ZX-100R is built to perform at the highest level of competition. Now you have the additional option to customize. We can build it to compete at any weight division at 126 pounds and above. The cosmetics can also be tweak to suit your desire.
As an example, we can take the same power plant and place it in a 220 pound frame. Just imagine, you can take out the Heavyweight division out of its funk. With the Pacquiao ZX-100R, you can take on the Klitchsko brothers with total confidence of the outcome.
For the budget minded customers, the same power plant comes in smaller frames from 126 to 135 pounds. We are currently in the works of fitting the same power plant into a 106-122 pound frame. It’s a challenge to place such a massive power plant into a smaller frame. Like the Original Pacquiao, we are confident that we can deliver the goods every time.
Be the proud owner of an once-in-a-lifetime fighter today. Call 1-800-PAC GOAT.
Warning: Ownership of one of our products will subject you to profane language, envy, accusations of fanatical loyalty of product, jealousy, and hate.
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