By Don Donatello
Hello everyone. I was just wondering if you guys can help me out. I am seeking help on where I can find some fine whine and cheese. I am talking about the good stuff, the best stuff. Money is no object. I have come into some money lately and I aim to get into things that people with money get in to. Through hard work I have amassed a good chunk of money. Wait! Alright, that’s a lie. I invested in strategic personal relationship for the elderly. That means I kissed up to an elderly relative and I ended up with the majority of his estate. Hallelujah, brother! Hallelujah!!
Someone told me that boxing fans are pretty knowledgeable about those stuff. I am told that the best whine and cheese came from Europe, particularly France. But lately people are tapping me on the shoulder and pointing me in the direction of Mexico for the best whine and cheese. So off to the library I went to get my hands on some knowledge. I want to impress my rich neighbors when they see me carrying books, not just any books, big thick books on whine, cheese and the fine art of living. Wait a sec! OK! That’s another lie. Sorry! I googled it. But I did carry books into the house. I timed when my neighbors are outside and I carried the books into the house that I got from the Goodwill store. Hallelujah, brother!
Anyways, I wanted boxes of fine whine and cheese. As I just recently came into some hard earned money, believe me brother, kissing ass is hard work and an art in itself, I don’t have a whine cellar just yet and I plan to put them in boxes myself. So I googled, “boxing whine.” Eureka! Mexico it was.
There it was, the finest whine that money could buy, straight out of Mexico City. Unbeknown to a whine newbie like myself, I heard that there was this certain whinery from Mexico that produces the best stuff. Whine connoisseurs, meaning “a person with expert knowledge or training,” all agreed that this was the best whinery throughout the land. It is from the vineyard of JMM & NB of Crying Hills Valley.
What is it that made the Crying Hills stuff the best whine I wondered. What is so special about it? Ask and you shall receive, brother! Whine Connoisseurs and the likes believe that it is the unshaken belief of JMM & NB in their whine. They are simply the biggest and best whiners around, period! Bar none!
It is said that Crying Hills produces the best grapes around. The grapes starts as very bitter and sour and when left alone to age it mellows. Viticulturist, people who study the science and production of grapes, states that the grapes grown on the soil at Crying Hills somehow produces the most extraordinary and unbelievable whine every four years or so. The best whine production years that everyone agrees to was in 2004 an 2008. But there is a consensus that those two unbelievable whine years will be surpassed by the latest and greatest batch of whine from 2011.
But you better hurry and get yourself a bottle or so of the 2011 whine from the vineyard of JMM & NB of Crying Hills Valley. That whine is going to be the best seller, I’m no whine expert but it will probably be voted as the Whine of the Year. From what I heard from JMM & NB, it might just make Whine of the Decade. They both claim that this whine is superior and surpasses the whine bottled in 2004 and 20008. Wow! Simply amazing! These two can really whine.
People from Mexico and fans of the Crying Hills whinery are buying the 2011 whine like hotcakes. They’re telling their friends and anyone who will listen to whine and dine to the newest bottle released by JMM & NB of Crying Hills Valley. I got a small taste of the 2011 whine last night, my brother! Hallelujah! That whine is simply unbelievable. WOW! From that, I have no doubt that JMM & NB of Crying Hills Valley will be whining for a very long time to come.
I heard that JMM & NB of Crying Hills Valley was seen dining in Vegas this morning. Both were enjoying the fine dining experience that stays in Vegas. The beautiful young waitress waiting on them recognized the two and asked if they wanted some cheese to go with their whine. She asked for their autograph and both kindly obliged. With a huge smile on her face, she held the piece of autographed paper and said, “Wow, I can’t believe it, I can’t wait to tell all my friends that I met the two biggest whiners on the planet.”
CONGRATULATIONS, MANNY PACQUIAO!
When a fighter outpunches his opponent 176 to 138, it is a win! What is so damn hard to figure that out? And when those 178 punches are much harder than the 138, and Juan Manuel Marquez’s face is riddled with lumps and knots while Manny Pacquiao’s face is unblemished from punches, are you saying that Marquez should win? On what term did Juan Manuel Marquez win?
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